How do I deal with the mistress of my husband?

How do I deal with the mistress of my husband? You have always believed in happily ever after, and the day of your wedding was like a fairy tale. You were so happy that you could even die and you thought your marriage was the kind that would last forever. 

However, you recently realized that your husband has changed. Of course, you snooped further. That’s when you discovered that your husband has been cheating on you. What is worse is that it was not just a one- night stand or some random hookup but a full-blown affair! 

You find out he has been keeping a mistress all this time, behind your back. What to do? You’re asking this question more and more often because honestly, the indecision is killing you.

On one hand, you have your husband who has betrayed your trust and love. You are very angry with him and you are considering leaving the marriage. On the other hand, you have the mistress, who might have or might not have known that her guy was married. 


How to get her to leave your husband alone

You want to embarrass her and teach her a lesson to stop messing with married men, and maybe, get her to leave your husband alone. 

The best way to come to terms with your situation is to confront both of them, though not at the same time. You should make time to meet with this woman to get more info that will help you decide whether to stay or go, to forgive your husband or not, assuming he is even repentant! 

Chances are that your husband might not be aware that you have discovered his infidelity. You need to let him know as a priority. Do not try to let off your steam at the mistress.

She might or might not be a victim too, and that is something that you can only decide after having a calm discussion with her, no judgment included. 

Remember, you are meeting her to snoop for info about your husband, and not to beat her up. So this is how you are going to behave when conducting the meeting with your husband’s mistress:

Stay calm

If you are going to shout and insult the other woman the moment you call her or the moment you see her, then you are better off not talking to her. Your approach is to get clarity and not to insult her off your husband. 

I understand that you are in a vulnerable situation and you are probably hurting so much, but projecting the pain onto her will not relieve your hurt. It might even make it worse especially if she retaliates, and is rude to you in return. 

Before you confront her, take time to go through your emotions. I will not say put yourself in her shoes because you do not know the circumstances under which she met your husband.

You might not even know whether she is aware of your existence or not. There is a slight chance that your husband is lying to her too. All you need to do is to be empathetic. 

When you talk to your husband’s mistress for the first time, introduce yourself but stay calm and gentle. Do not be aggressive or defensive. Also, do not expose too much about your marriage because the person you are talking to is still a stranger, even though you are sharing a man. 

Be open-minded too, because whatever the circumstances, this woman will have a lot to say to you. If you listen well, the info you get from here will help you make a decision on whether to stay with your husband and make it work or whether to leave him and walk away. It all depends on what and how much your husband has told her about you and how he has been treating her.

I would not advise you to leave your husband because if you leave him, the mistress will get what she has always wanted. Now fight for you man and your marriage win him back from her how to do that, just follow this link How to end my husband’s affair with his mistress.

Don’t approach her if you’re not ready to leave your husband

Before you confront the other woman, you have to know that this will be the turning point in your marriage. How you chose to go about it, how he will react after, will determine how the relationship survives after that.  

Remember, you do not know much about his commitment to the mistress and how much he is into her. There is a chance that when pushed into a corner, he might choose her over you. Are you ready for that? Are you willing to face the reality of your marriage?

If you haven’t yet come to terms with your husband’s infidelity and are busy thinking the other woman maybe did something to seduce him, you are not ready yet. If you approach her with the intention of scaring her off, whether you succeed or not will be immaterial.

Your husband’s infidelity

This is because he will not appreciate your efforts, and will instead resent you for it. He will get another mistress or even get more than one mistress, and this time he will be so discreet that you might fail to find out about it.

 He might get one that he will flaunt in your face, knowing that he has nothing to hide anymore. This is also because the moment you acknowledge that you are aware of your husband’s infidelity and you do nothing to confront him, and instead channel the anger to the other woman, he will know that he can always get away with cheating on you and he will do it again and again.

The ideal is that you will only talk with your husband’s mistress to get a clear picture of his infidelity. Do not rely on her actions to make up your mind on your marriage. You should be clear that if he has really cheated on you to the extent of keeping a mistress, then you need to let go and leave him.

If you are still going to cling onto him, then the best person to confront is your husband and not his mistress. This is because you can be able to work out your issues with him and see what pushed him to cheat on you. If you do not resolve this with him, expect him to hurt you over and over again, this time without even bothering to hide it.

Remember, the mistress doesn’t owe you anything

One thing you have to be clear is that you and the mistress are not on the same side. You are not friends fighting a common enemy. You are enemies struggling for the same thing. 

When you approach her, there are high chances that she will be antagonistic a resentful. Even if she was not aware that her man is married, she will not appreciate having to hear it from you. 

If she was aware of your existence, she will feel a bit guilty because she interfered with your marriage, but she will be angrier that you have found out about their affair, which will mean that it might have to end. 

She will also be resentful when you choose to confront her instead of confronting your husband because that means she will have to face your anger when he should be the one to do it

Bottom line -How do I deal with the mistress of my husband?

Above all, remember that the vows you made were with your husband and not with his mistress. She doesn’t owe you a duty to keep away from your husband; it is your man who does. 

Whatever you say to her, she is only doing you a favour if she decides to listen to you or even give pay you any attention. It’s because you do not know the truth about her relationship with your husband or why they got together. 

The best option is to be civil while trying to get as much info out of her as you can. She might love your husband too much to let go, and your husband might feel the same. 

All you need to keep in mind is the fact that she is not the one who hurt you or the one that cheated on you. So do not blame her for your problems because she has no responsibility towards you. If you want to resolve your issues, deal with the person responsible for them, not a third party. 

I hope How do I deal with the mistress of my husband? Helps you get your problem solved as you want. Thank you for reading good luck

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