Do married men reconnect with their mistress and why would they?

Do married men reconnect with their mistress? So your man cheated on you and you decided to give him another chance? Bravo! You deserve a medal!

Very few women would be brave enough to do what you have done. This has got nothing to do with anything. Whether you love your husband or your family still needs his kind of reasons. It is all about the relationship between the two of you, and whether it will be able to survive the affair or not. 

During reconciliation, the first thing you should ask yourself is why he cheated on you? Of course, he will give you his reasons, but remember that a man who keeps a mistress is different from the one- night ‘oops I slept with someone not my wife’ kind of guy. 

He is the kind of guy who hooked up with another woman deliberately. Then got involved with her emotionally, lied to you or to her for a long time. He was unlucky enough to be found out eventually. 

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This is the guy who has been lying to you for months or even years and has kept his double life a secret for so long. Therefore, you need to know his real motivations for going astray before you recommit yourself to him. 

However, this is your call to make. If for one reason or another, he has recognized that his family is indeed more important than his affair and he has committed to end the relationship and stay true to you, and you, in turn, have forgiven him and vowed to stay by his side, remember, the work has only just started. 

You will need to put in a lot of effort to restore your marriage to what it was before, or even better. You will need to shed all your self-doubt and you will need to learn to trust your husband again; if you are to make your marriage work.

However, do not let down your guard because like they say, once bitten, twice shy. Much as you are committed to being with your husband through thick and thin, there are a few things you will have to bear in mind especially those that relate to the relationship between a man and his mistress or his former mistress. You need to take note of the following aspects to be able to judge whether or not your husband will reconnect with his mistress.

The emotional connection

Firstly, the connection between a married man and his mistress is most times more than just sexual. It is also an emotional connection where the mistress is fulfilling the emotional needs of the man as well as his sexual needs. 

With time, if your husband starts to feel as if his needs are continuously being neglected, it will be much easier for him to fall back onto his old habits of looking for a person who will fulfil those needs. 

This time she will be better than an old mistress who had already confessed her feelings for him, and for whom he doesn’t have to do the heavy work of convincing her about his feelings. 

In such a case, a man is like a druggie who has come from rehab. Determined not to do drugs again, but when he faces emotional challenges again, he relapses and falls back on the former trusted method of dealing with those issues.

What you need to do in this situation is to establish an emotional connection with him above all else. Work on your communication issues both verbal and non-verbal so that if he is feeling unfulfilled, he can be able to air it out to you and the both of you find a solution.

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The saving face aspect

The second point to note is that your husband might have been forced to cut off his affair with the mistress as a result of being found out and being forced to make a choice, and not because he thought that his actions were wrong or unjustified.  

This means that his feelings for his mistress were not by any means extinguished, but he was just forced to hide them better so as to save his family. 

This also means that he will quietly wait for the opportunity when his family no longer feels threatened to go back to her, especially if his feelings are still persisting. 

In your case, if it is true that your husband was forced to end his affair with the mistress and not out of his own initiative, especially when he was not ready or willing to let go of the relationship, there are high chances that when all the hullabaloo has died down and he is sure that he is no longer being monitored as much, he will be tempted to reach out again to the mistress and try to reconnect with her. 

The remorse factor

In a situation where the husband has cheated and is trying to turn over a new leaf and make amends to his family, the success of that endeavour largely depends on his character and the level of determination that he has. 

It is not hard for a man to be truly repentant and to decide to be faithful to his wife for the rest of his wife. If that kind of man has a strong character, he will be able to live up to his promise.

 He will be able to easily say NO to temptation. This is especially true if a man faces the danger of losing his family and suddenly comes to the realization of what is truly important in his life. 

You might find out that your man, just cheated not because he was emotionally involved with the other party but due to peer pressure. Or to circumstances that put him in a tempting situation. Such a man may sincerely make a vow not to cheat on his wife again. 

He will try to remove all kinds of temptations that might lead him into cheating again and therefore live up to his promises. This means that he will also have to cut off all connections with the mistress as this might lead him to backslide or to give in to the temptation to reunite with this mistress. 

This kind of man will not leave any loose ends with his relationships, and in trying to get closure, you can be sure that he will not try to contact or even reunite with his former mistress at all.

Bottom line-Do married men reconnect with their mistress 

The issue of whether married men reconnect with their mistresses or not cant be answered well unless one is aware of the circumstances that led the man to cheat on his wife in the first place, and whether such an issue has been brought forward, discussed and then dealt with by the couple themselves. 

Thank you for reading Do married men reconnect with their mistress and why would they? Hope you learnt something .

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