Should I let him go or should I wait for him to leave her? I know you have invested a lot in that relationship. You don’t want it to all go down the drain. Furthermore, you trust your man and you know that eventually the two of you will be together.
But no one else has your faith. So many people, including your family and friends, are urging you to leave this relationship. You are conflicted because obviously you also do not like being the third wheel. Your man has assured you that it is only temporary and that he will eventually leave her for you.
So should you go or should you stay?
Sometimes the right answer lies within us and not anywhere else. Many people will give you advice. Telling you that he is never going to leave her or that you should walk away from the relationship and live your own life.
You have also faced a lot of guilt in this relationship. That is why you are debating whether you should stay or leave. I don’t believe the answer is in black and white as most people make it to be.
There are so many factors we are not aware of that only you can attest to. This is the best time to do some soul searching. Take some time off away from him and think deeply about your relationship.
Should I wait for him to end his relationship?
There are many pointers and signs that you need to consider before you can decide whether to leave your man or not. However, there are two major factors that you should consider before you make the decision whether to stay or go leave this man:
The time factor
Consider how long has your relationship lasted. Have you just met him and are trying to work it out with him or you have been together for years. If the relationship has just started, you have to be fair to your man and give him enough time to sort himself.
If you got together not too long ago, remember, none of you planned for this to happen. It just happened and he suddenly found himself in love with you yet he was not free to date you at that time.
The way men react to feelings is different from the way we women sort them out. A woman will know immediately when she has fallen in love with someone. For a man might take longer to realize his feelings.
Give him time to explore what he is feeling and to be convinced about them. He might not be sure that what he is feeling is not just an infatuation that will fade with time but true love.
If he once loved his wife but the love faded, understand that he will take longer to trust his feelings again. You need to take baby steps with him and not rush him. The good news is that once he is convinced of his love, he will do anything to be with you.
Also, you have to know that quitting a relationship is not the work of one day. Just as your love didn’t take one day to materialize, you have to know that all good things take time.
He has to untangle himself from this relationship bit by bit and not suddenly spring the news on his partner. Without putting yourself in her shoes, you clearly know that he is the guilty party.
It would only be polite for him to wait for the right time before leaving her to minimize the hurt that he will inflict on her. However, do not let this reason become an excuse. Give him enough time to plan how to leave her, and if he does not, give him an ultimatum.
If he drags it for too long, chances are that he will become comfortable with both of you and will not be able to leave her anymore. This is where papa Miko comes in to help you make him leave his wife for you regardless of what
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The investment factor
Every good businessman knows that if he finds a good deal, he will invest as much as he can to be able to own it. If your man loves and treasures you as much as he should, he will invest whatever he can in this relationship.
This will include among others, his time, his love, his money, his efforts and his friendships.
So consider how much effort and time he has invested in this relationship. It could be that after getting together with you he started taking you for granted or started giving you many excuses of his other woman.
If this man is serious about you, he will invest even much more energy into your relationship as it grows. If he is treating you like a queen, showering you with love and making sure you’re his number one priorities then do not be in such a rush to leave him.
Has he has consistently been choosing you over his woman, or over his family, then trust him when he asks you to wait for him to leave her. He has already shown you by his actions and words that it is only you that he loves.
That man is constantly putting himself out there for you and he might even have gone public about your relationship. He has done it all but he is asking for only one thing, your patience. Only you alone can tell whether or not he is genuine with his actions.
Do you think your man is lying to you or are the roadblocks in his life are really there? Much as we want to live a fantasy where your man is a superhero who slays every dragon that he comes across, the reality will be much different.
Some dragons might be too big for him to slay and he may have to compromise along the way. If you genuinely love him, listen to him and try to lighten his burden by encouraging him to share his problems with you.
They say two heads are better than one, so if your man is as invested in you as he should be, he will listen to your solutions and the both of you will find a way forward from all the challenges you are facing now.
From 0 – 10 How good is your relationship?
If he is a good man who understands you well regardless of the situation I say wait. He has everything you need in man and he gives you everything you need from a man.
He meets all your needs and requirement in time regardless of the other woman. If you do get along very well then your relationship is worth waiting than just throwing in the towel.
If your communication is good and his love for you is unconditional, woman, wait. You deserve him and he deserves you. Let him go only when he doesn’t meet half of what is mentioned above.
If he is abusive and not an understanding person but also remember “no one is perfect”. He may not meet all of the above but meets some of them so be considerate.
Bottom line-Should I let him go or should I wait for him to leave her?
That said, they say time waits for no man. Consider how much time you are willing to invest in this relationship and discuss with your man. You can even ask him to give you a definite time. Just let him know that you will not wait around longer than that.
It is very good to have clear timelines with him as this will force him to own up to your relationship and plan his strategies on how he can finally make you official.
Thank you for reading Should I let him go or should I wait for him to leave her? If you have any question, feel free to ask.
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